Do you know people who appear to go through life almost always making the right decisions? They don’t appear to agonize over making the best decision and seem to make decisions without second-guessing themselves.
People aren’t born knowing how to make good decisions. Rather, good decision makers are (among other things) a product of someone who is confident in themselves and in their knowledge of a particular topic. When it comes to making life-changing, personal decisions, everyone agonizes to some degree. I think this agony is especially true and poignant for teens and young adults.
We can become good decision makers with practice, and the practice never ends! A toddler must decide whether or not to touch a hot surface based on someone warning him – and explaining the consequences if he does touch it. Over time, the toddler must learn to determine what’s hot on his own!
There are some specific steps we can take to develop good decision-making skills. Everything revolves around you knowing who you are and where you “draw the line” when it comes to choices.
- A key to making good decisions is to have thorough knowledge of the subject matter, as this breeds confidence. When making personal decisions, the subject is you. Throughout our lives, we should be doing honest self-assessments as we grow so we know our likes and dislikes – as well as where we draw a line that we aren’t willing to cross.
- Know the consequences of your decision – good or bad. Some decisions are “no-brainers.” Should I sneak out to hang with my friends – though my parents said I could not? Consider the cost – if you decide to go anyway, you may have a good time…but what’s the downside? Is the risk of jeopardizing the trusting relationship you have with your parents worth one night of “fun”? Or, say, College A is offering a partial scholarship, and you will have the opportunity to practice your craft (sports, art, etc.); College B is offering a full scholarship – but is out of state and they don’t have competitive sports. How do you decide?
- Seek the advice of others, young and old – including your parents! When my son was at college age, we visited different campuses in-state and out-of-state. We got first-hand, candid information from current and former students, as well as formal information about the university. It helped us both to make an informed decision. And in today’s age of robust social media and general online access, information is even more readily available.
Finally, evaluate your decision. Was the outcome as you anticipated? If faced with the same set of circumstances again, would you make the same choice? We will always be faced with choices and will frequently have to make “judgement calls.” And while it’s ok to make mistakes (that’s one way we learn!), as we grow and mature mentally, emotionally, and physically, so should our decision-making abilities as the choices we make become more critical over time.
